Best buy outsources the daggering of its customers to Major Lazer

February 9th, 2010

What is daggering?

Our Line Lengths Were Syncing Up

October 10th, 2009

I found that one on imagepoop. I’d like to find out who the original author is.

Here’s the text:


<rob> hi
<emily> hey you
<rob> last night was nice
<emily> the best i've had
<rob> yeah it was AMAZING
<emily> ok, i have to ask
<emily> is this for real?
<emily> or is it just sex
<rob> definitely just sex
<emily> holy shit
<emily> are you serious?
<emily> you don't know how much that made
my stomach hurt
<emily> i want to cry
<rob> i'm sorry
<rob> i wanted to type 'i love you'
<rob> but our line lengths were syncing up
<emily> ...
<rob> and it would have broken the pattern
* emily has disconnected

Sexual Harassment – Coming Soon!

October 10th, 2009

Bionic – Chrome Hacker

August 26th, 2009

Get the song here: bionic.mp3

Yo yo, this is Bionic
What’s up to all my Chrome hackers?
I run a twelve minute mile and I think I’ve got style
I got a 40 inch waist after all this while
I like to beat my meat cuz I’m a fuckin’ geek
and my white trash trailer ain’t got nothin’ to eat
I’m a fuckin’ queer
I flunked freshman year
I like little boys that’ll talk dirty in my ear
I’m super fuckin’ fat
my face is like a rat
if you come to my house (Corn?) I’ll shoot you with my gatt
Some (jew?) came to my house
lookin’ like a mouse
I had to kick him out before I got too aroused
I think I’m a hacker
I’m really just a whacker
and in my school I’m just a fat fuckin’ slacker
Hey look at me I’m Bionic the fat fuck
Hey look at me I’m Bionic the ugly duck
This is a fat farm public announcement
There’s a phone call for Daryl Polo at the main desk.

[Music cuts out, goes to a telephone conversation]
Hello?
Hello this is Don from Duke University, is this Daryl Polo?
This is Daryl speaking, what is this about?

[Music fades back in, they rap out their lines]
Well you see I heard you wuz bustin’ up my box.
Man what the fuck you talkin’– where you get my dots?
A little hacker group named TNT
Well thats a load of bullshit, don’t you see.
You sure you aint the script kid that Imet (Imed?) me?
Yeah I’m an AOL member as proud as could be
Sure you didn’t packet from my line?
Man shut the fuck up I don’t like you and your whining
What is this TCP.log that I spy?
I don’t know, clean out your fucking eyes.
Sorry for the trouble
and thank you for your time.
Man go fuck yourself I’m a hacker online.

[Talking]
It’s bionic here. How do you like this? One day, I’m mass mailing my heart away, the next thing I know I have a powerful Iris IP scanner. Now I’ll be a hacker and not a fat kid who runs ten-carded iso net shell botnets. Since I say I quit IRC, you’re gonna have to wait at least two days to see me so my internet addiction can come back and I have to go check my root, later guys.

[Music fades out]

GoGurt Money Shot

August 26th, 2009

Is it just me or is SpongeBob about to get it right in the face?

GoGurt Money Shot

Youtube Engineers Have a Sense of Humor

October 7th, 2008

Sound like a good idea? They really did implement it:

Maybe this will kill off the stupid comments on Youtube!

Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Street

August 31st, 2008

My parents put up a fence because I used to run into the street all the time as a kid. This track marshal’s parents must not have done the same for him.

Helper killed by speeding car.

The driver didn’t fare very well either. The driver died when the fire extinguisher held by the track marshal nearly decapitated him. “The impact with the extinguisher had wrenched Pryce’s helmet upward, and he had been partially decapitated by the strap. Death was almost certainly instantaneous.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Pryce

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rS5jneOrZdk

OS X – Kernel Panic Problem Report

August 23rd, 2008

Hopefully someone at Apple will find this funny…

os x kernel panic jacking off to porn on the internet

Pornstar Lolcat

August 22nd, 2008

Pornstar Lolcat - Invisibul cumshot

Testing for Cleanliness?

August 7th, 2008